Is a woman's body always ready to have sex?

My mother's family engaged her when she was 12 and when she was 14, she was released and sent to her husband's home.

She was not even fully young when she left her parents' home. The dreams and aspirations of my mother's youth would never be fulfilled.

Feroza (pseudonym) says, "If you ask the truth, this (leaving at such a young age) was not even my father's decision." After marriage, my mother could not continue her education.

Feroza is the youngest child of her parents i.e. the youngest among 14 siblings. He is studying in a university in Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan.

"My mother gave birth to 14 children at very short intervals," says Feroza. My father was very cruel to my mother. My mother was totally incapable of giving birth to more than 14 children but my father completely ignored her sexual and physical problems and without any precautions like condoms or birth control pills to prevent pregnancy. Use, it continued.'

"As a result, my mother gave birth to 14 children and then she became sick."

Feroza believes that even though her father never asked her to discontinue her education, he "brutalized my mother".

"I am the 14th among my siblings and when I was born my mother was not even able to take care of me. I never got Mamata's love."

"Even though my mother has become a patient now, she still has to 'obey' my father," says Feroza.

What is 'obedience' in Islamic jurisprudence?


Fazlur Rehman Faqihi is a professor and researcher of Islamic studies at a university in Herat. They say that obedience means giving authority over oneself. And in the relationship between wife and husband, it means that the wife stays with him and sleeps near him at night under the rights of the husband. (And while doing so, the wife) should not feel ashamed and should not adopt an attitude of disobedience.'

He said that according to institutional jurisprudence, this is 'obedience' and 'whenever a woman disobeys her husband in the matter of intimacy, it will be disobedience.'

The legal consequence of a woman's disobedience to a man's sexual desires

Fazlur Rehman says that 'a woman should always submit herself to her husband to enjoy or get pleasure and her husband's pleasure should not be limited to a particular time, place or quality.'

They say that if a wife does not do this or leaves the house without her husband's permission or has a disagreement with her husband, then according to perfect Islamic jurisprudence, the non-maintenance that the husband is obliged to give her is due to this restriction. will be exempted.'

According to Fazlur Rehman Faqihi, 'A man can marry a second time only if the first wife is disobedient, apart from other reasons. One of the reasons for a husband to remarry may be his wife's disobedience.




Is a woman's body always ready to have sex?


Women's rights activist and pediatrician in the UK, Dr. Avide Dehar, says that short intervals for breastfeeding mothers cause irreparable harm to their health.

He said that pregnancy in women for very short periods not only causes anemia in them but also chronic physical weakness, because during pregnancy and later at the time of childbirth, the mother uses up all the energy in her body. She sits.

She says that it takes six to eight weeks for a woman's body to get back to normal after childbirth, and much longer for the mother to recover from a C-section (i.e. major operation). Time is required.

Women have different physiological functions. "Women's hormones fluctuate during menstruation," he says, adding that these monthly fluctuations in hormones can cause depression, fatigue, and low energy in the body, making women sexually inactive. But they become hesitant and their sexual desire may be more or less.
So, if the husband understands these changes in his wife's body and behavior in time, he can establish better sexual relations with his spouse. The instability of hormones in women's bodies means that they may not always be available or ready to have sex.




He added that breastfeeding mothers sometimes lose the desire to have sex temporarily due to fatigue, insomnia, and fatigue. On the other hand, the hormones that are at a high level during pregnancy gradually decrease after the birth of the child, and due to these ups and downs of hormones, some women suffer from depression after the birth of the child. I have less sexual desire.

Avide Dehar says that 'in such a situation it is better for the men to understand these things and help their wives in the housework and help them take care of the child born so that the woman can spend the day time. Can sleep a little longer and relieve fatigue caused by hormonal changes.'

He said that even during menopause, the time when menstruation stops, women can experience hormonal fluctuations that men should be aware of. Menopause is not just the end of menstruation, but during this time women can experience anxiety, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating and extreme fatigue. In such cases, headaches, increased muscle and joint pain, decreased desire for intercourse, vaginal dryness and pain, and excessive night sweats may occur.

"Forcing women to have sex in such a situation can be dangerous and can lead to vaginal rupture and bleeding, as well as severe psychological trauma to the woman, and the victim may need years of physical and mental pain to heal." Treatment may be required.'

According to Avide Dehar, 'Men need to understand and know that these fluctuations in hormones are not under women's control and are in fact part of their physical makeup. And to get through these health-related temporary periods in a better way, they need the support of a specialist doctor as well as their husbands.





Second opinion


Religious innovators believe that each religion, culture, and civilization can be defined differently, and that no religion in the world has the same definition for all its followers and observers.

Muhammad Muhaq is a researcher from Afghanistan and a religious innovator. He writes on diversity in Islamic societies and has published many books and articles in this field and has been engaged in religious modernist research for about 15 years.

He says, 'Today there is a lot of scope for ijtihad and reflection.'

"When two people are going to live with each other, they should respect each other and the relationship (husband and wife) should be based on emotional attachment and mutual blessings between the two people."

According to him, if it is a legal aspect, both (husband and wife) have the right to sit and talk, and as a result of mutual understanding, everyone can determine their limits, at the beginning of the relationship between husband and wife. Also or in later stages.

He says that it is not a preconceived notion that women should be 100 percent compliant (ready to obey at all times) and that men should have unlimited powers in this regard.

What conclusion has Feroza reached?


But the question is that if Feroze's mother had not given birth to 14 children and tried to stop this work, what could have happened to her? Maybe she would have been physically punished for doing so, maybe her husband would have remarried or divorced her and deprived her of the right to non-maintenance.

And according to Islamic law, since all the expenses of her (Feroz's mother) and her children, including food, clothing and other expenses, were paid by her husband, then perhaps the custody of the children would have been with him (the father).

A woman who has been married off as a child, unable to continue her education and has no other freedoms, has no choice but to submit to all the sexual desires of her husband. fulfill?

Feroza says that 'According to the true spirit of Islam, women are highly respected, they have the status of a queen, but in Afghan society, women are deprived of the right to education and choice, they are physically punished and all this is Islam's fault. done in the name. Islam is not like that at all, it is all because of the culture and traditions prevalent in Afghanistan.

Feroza's mother and thousands of other women in Afghanistan still have to submit to their husbands' demands, but Feroza doesn't want them to continue this 'evil game'.

She wants their dreams and wishes to come true and they complete their education, become doctors and choose their own husband. He said that being bound by the wishes of men is an abominable culture of tribal traditions which is not according to our conditions today. These traditions stigmatize women sexually and give men the right to sexually exploit women whenever they want.

She says she is "strongly opposed" to giving men unlimited rights that negate women's rights and the possibility of creating equal families.